Uzumaki Naruto (impellere) wrote,
@ 2009-09-09 22:47:00

Current mood:	busy
Entry tags:	background information, bandwagon, essay meme, ooc, there is a point to this rly

BANDWAGON? ALLLLL ABOARD!!
Oh how I hate these things. But I got to second Cella. Answering the bloody questions gets a lot going and helps people figure out their characters. I'd like to at least try and figure out why Naruto does his Naruto thing and answering your requests would do just that.

That, and she had something right. The history/personality/issues of a character are near impossible to fit into an application and when you can't look into the future it makes things a bit difficult. Playing a character makes them grow I guess. Things happen to them which change them completely or moderately. They meet new people. Do new things. ~~Screw Hyuugas.~~ Point being a lot of things have happened to Naruto to turn him into the guy he is now.

So, what this means is by asking me a question, any question, about Naruto I can answer with whatever it is that comes to mind. Stuff that has been implied about him for so long but not actually set in stone. It would also clue anyone into why he's the way he is. What makes him a special snowflake. And will also help me a bit as well. So that I can give a good long moment to think about the why and how and when and where. All that fun stuff that a simple blurb wouldn't cover.

C/P MOMENT with minor adjustments

Ask me any question regarding Naruto. ANYTHING AT ALL. They can be specific questions, or generalized questions. I will answer them all in this post. All the frivolous details included despite the way my fingers doth protest.

The 'no godmode on relationships' thing is the same here. I won't assume anything happened between your character and mine nor will I conjure one up off the top of my head. If my character knows your character and we have a history with them then of course I'll go off that. If mine doesn't then with time he totally will. Naruto is a pretty damn social guy so he's bound to get to you sooner or later. Questions about him in general are entirely appreciated as it would help me.

Needless to say, if you ask in this post "what's his opinion of ___" I will answer based on how much he knows them/has interacted with them. Because of course I don't have ENOUGH stuff to do. NO. NO WAY.

;A;

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oriental_dragon
2009-09-10 01:52 pm UTC (link)

1. His view on Tenten, on any and all matters that you can think of or would care to discuss, ie. concerning their friendship, as a girl in general, what he thinks when she's in the process of getting involved with a guy, will it ever happen between them, does he want it to happen, etc.

2. Ideal man/woman/person. Describe. In detail.

3. Most fond memory of his past, whether it be recent or far into his childhood. The past is the past, no matter how much time has gone by since then.

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impellere
2009-09-11 12:15 am UTC (link)

ojeez this is going to be a long one...

What is there to say that hasn't already been said that hasn't been said already? Tenten is his wittle princess. He holds her closer than most anyone else he knows. She's been there for him from what he thinks is the very beginning. She was also his first love so you got to remember that things get a little complicated when anyone else is entered into the picture. Even though he thinks his heart has given up already and refuses to believe anything else.

Basically... He's got this thing. Where he's protective to the point that it's overbearing and so possessive that he's not really sure if there IS a line to draw between them. They kiss. They touch. They snuggle. All of these things that everyone around them classifies as 'something more'. They've had to fight off the titles so many times and he's not really sure WHY anymore. There's no point in dodging the accusations when there's no room to budge.

How do you tell someone "Yeah, I totally do everything with her except fuck and we're not going steady." It just wouldn't work.

But she's this gorgeous thing that when he has no control over himself [read: drunk] he can't help but feel around with. She does the same thing and for some few inebriated moments there just... them. No title. No questions. It's just Tenten and Naruto being drunk on a couch. Doing what they do.

That aside if you had to ask what Naruto has to say about her beauty... Ahah. He doesn't really pay attention to those sorts of things. He loves the sound of her laughter and her voice. It's a very nice voice. It's never all that bad when she yells because the way her eyebrows twitch is so fucking. CUTE. The sly strand of hair that escaped being pulled behind her ear? That's his hair to reach out for and tuck there instead. These are the things that are beautiful to him.

... Orite. And she has a fabulous body to work it all with, but that's just his penis talking. :|

End point - She's an amazing woman. Someone who taught him all that he knows regarding the species and more. He doesn't ever want to give her up to anyone else because he doubts they can take care of her the right way or as well as he can. He will HATE anyone that tries to enter the happy bubble or tries to break it. Will probably hunt them down if they ever hurt her.

Oh.

And you know that fear thing? Yeah, it goes double for Tenten. Sex is easy. It's VERY easy. Which is why it's also very easy to fuck things up. :( How to put this...

She's tempting. He KNOWS sex would be amazing. The penis wants it. So bad. But the brain and the heart know what is best and refuse to take charge with that sort of situation. As to what Naruto would do if Tenten took charge? I... idek. I can't rightly say he would give in or even turn and hightail it out of there.

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3 YA IT'S OUT OF ORDER. WHAT. D<

impellere
2009-09-11 08:34 am UTC (link)

It's not so much a memory as it is a recurring dream. He has a lot of dreams that happen over and over and he's simply not willing to find out why like other people would. Maybe they have some meaning, but they intimidate him so much that he doesn't want to divulge himself.

Said dream starts in all dark. There's kids laughing and he can feel himself being dragged. Not a bad drag, but like there's something just beyond that he hasn't reached yet. There are voices around him and he KNOWS they're talking to him directly. The laughing continues. He smiles. He feels everything is alright there.

The there's a camera flash noise and the white light that blinds him and a very lonely feeling.

He usually wakes up then and has that not-too-nice feeling that someone is watching him.

Y'know, though... Despite the horrible waking up moment I don't think he would give that dream up. He'll never think too much on it but he swears it had to have happened at some point and he must've felt that much at peace in his life at one time or another. So it's a 'memory' and something he will hold very dear since it's the only one he has from his 'childhood'. Or at the very least the childhood he has when he dreams.

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	2 impellere 2009-09-11 08:58 am UTC (link)
	... Can I totally skip this? Because I asked Naruto and he just gave a hip thrust, thumbs up, and then a rock out sign as he left to go get drunk at the karaoke bar. Because bullying the people that work there when he doesn't is apparently hot shit. :( (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	Re: 2 oriental_dragon 2009-09-11 01:53 pm UTC (link)
	...Unacceptable. Get him back here. Or Tenny will. 8\| (Reply to this)(Parent)

	oriental_dragon 2009-09-11 07:01 pm UTC (link)
	AND JUST BECAUE HE REFUSED TO ANSWER NUMBER TWO: On a scale of one to ten, RANK ALL THE GIRLS/GUYS HE KNOWS IN COMM CANON for date-ability, one being a hell no, ten being a fuck yes. You know... since he plays for both teams? (Reply to this)(Parent)

	oriental_dragon 2009-09-13 06:41 am UTC (link)
	And while we're at it ~~because I'm a devious and unforgiving little imp~~, compile a list of Naruto's past relationships including details on the following: 1. who they were with 2. age it occured 3. how long it lasted 4. what went wrong Chronological order, if you will? Please and thank you~ (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

OMG IT WAS TOO LONG WTH HAHAHAHAHA

impellere
2009-09-16 12:00 pm UTC (link)

I was going through Japanese emoticons and I found out OGC is a man masturbating. I'M GONNA START A TREND. ♥

idek if I can last through both parts of this so I'll give the first round a go then get back to the second when I'm less dead. And you just haaaad to ask for the WHY. ~~I keep telling myself I don't sit on you out of love. ONLY. OUT OF LOVE.~~

ALSO, note. Because Naruto is too fucking scared to date anyone I'm giving you 'fuck-ability' instead. It's the least I can do. And really the most I can do what with Naruto being so annoyingly intimately challenged.

SO HERE WE GO

# -984304038408428402424 = Sasuke
Reason: He's not met the guy ONCE and he already rubs him the wrong way. There's absolutely nothing in Naruto's book of 'things I did wrong to deserve to not get nice things' with Sasuke's name anywhere on it. Therefor the guy deserves a foot up his ass before anything nicer that Naruto could definitely provide. :|

# -984304038408428402423 = Sakon
Reason: Again with the 'never met them' thing. On top of that the only time he's seen the guy in action was when he was being a royal snot to Sakura. Be mean to his bitches and you had might as well stomped on Naruto's pimp grounds. Then again he's met Ukon. Ukon is rather pretty. So based on looks alone Sakon gets a point boost.

# Gaara
Reason: There is no number for him because Naruto has never met him. But he just HAS to be better than both Sasuke and Sakon, but there's still not enough info there for him to have a real number in Naruto's book. So Gaara is # Gaara. End.

# 1 = Shikamaru
Reason: He knows the guy and Hell, if he thought about it MAYBE in the right light and situation he could be a good lay. If you were the quick get off then get some sleep kind. But I'm answering these questions with all of IC and in game feelings aside. So it's purely emotionless and very detached. Which translates to a fuck no.

Good looking, yeah. He guesses. If you're into fucking your friends. ~~Shut up.~~ But he's not a lazy jackass for nothing. Even wet dreams would end in a cold shower. WHILE STILL SLEEPING. :(

# 2 = Ukon
Reason: Doesn't know the guy well, but on the doable scale he's got something better than Nara at least. Naruto is one of those MUST FEEL COMFORTABLE AROUND IN ORDER TO FUCK sort of guys. He's not getting the warm and fuzzies around Ukon just yet and maybe with time he will. THEN the fuzzies and ahaha you're hot works together in harmony. In which case lol Neji already fills the feminine man vibe.

# 3 = Suigetsu
Reason: Swim team. Bitch should be limber. Good times, good times. That being said he's only one higher than Ukon for silly reasons. He's never met Sui, but the jerk challenged him in his own bloody game. That deserves an ass whoppin' of max levels. Doesn't even matter what he looks like. LOOKS DON'T MATTER WHEN PRIDE COMES INTO PLAY GDIT.

#4 = Kiba
Reason: He's known Kiba... for forever. That comes with some really strong levels of bromance. Of course they had the awkward moments of teen-hood and Naruto ignored them beautifully. That being said and promptly pushed aside Kiba is and always will be... a wonderfully sculpted man sent by the heavens above. :( Naruto will hate him for it. Will punch those delicious abs with little effect out of spite.

A-and if the chance should arise Kiba would probably trump him by mass alone. ~~Naruto. Why you so small.~~ I can't say he would hate it? Maybe after. Only because his pride is a dangerous thing. THEN AGAIN they both have their own background history. That alone would lead to something ~wonderful~.

Just sayin'.

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PART II OF PART I /DIES

impellere
2009-09-16 12:01 pm UTC (link)

#5 = Sakura
Reason: Ojeez. What can be said here? He's known the girl for like... a year after her having vanished for most of his life. THINGS ARE COMPLICATED. But if he had to step back for a moment and let his manly urges roam he'd just have to admit that that might be nice to tap. She's got a nice body and a nice charming attitude. He doesn't know if she's a virgin or not and probably never will. Yet she probably knows a thing or two. ~~Probably from books/movies but who's to judge? :|a~~

#6 = Karin
Reason: GOD. Did you see her photos on that site- No, no. Naruto's only met her once. There's no attachments and dayum girl got some back. She can flirt just as good. Can work that body as well as anyone else. And did I mention the accent? Hrrngh.

Call Naruto 'mister' anyday, bb. Eh-Knee-Day.

#7 = Tenten
Reason: I... Hm.

I really hate that there's not much to put here. And not because I've said it so many times before! But because the mix is so simple. She's beautiful. He's a man who likes beautiful things. She's funny. He likes to laugh. They balance one another and that sort of thing in bed just has to be... unf. So much unf.

But she's still a 7 because fuckability isn't the right term for it. He would fucking ~cherish~ it. God help anyone who does indeed get in her pants. He'll be out for blood. :(

#8 = Ino
Reason: Been there, done that. Went back for more later on because... Damn.

THIS IS THE REASON I'M GLAD I MADE THIS A FUCK QUESTIONNAIRE INSTEAD. He wouldn't dare date someone like Ino. Just like anyone smart wouldn't date someone with Naruto's track record. But they both know the ropes and how to tie them. They match each other on soooooo many levels and will pretty much do -anything- for the person they're screwing. That comes in handy for the kinky which both of them probaaaaaaaaaably are. D:

~~Let us all hope they always have condoms. I would hate to be the one responsible for if they ever spawn.~~

#9 = Neji
Reason: B-been there, done it... Have bad dreams about it. Is now socially inept when it comes to sex and all things involved. Flirting... dating. Even the naked women in his magazines give him dirty looks and it's DRIVING HIM INSANE. Dry spell is dry. and long. and painful. oh so very painful.

And the funny thing is he can't even remember if the sex was good. Just that he did Neji. He left the next morning. And things have been awkward since.

BUT SOMETHING... ANYTHING MUST BE THERE. And if they ever do it again it will be grand. Just take my word for it.

AND FINALLY...

#10 = I... just can't say right now. Why?

BECAUSE EVERY RELATIONSHIP HE HAS IS TOO FUCKING COMPLICATED. UJHJDFDFDHHFJKDFHK.

/GOES TO SLEEP

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