11 January 2009 @ 01:29 am
I hate everything in the world right now.
Tags: , ,
Current Location: DESPAIR
Current Mood: AUGH
Current Music: RAGE
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Major Montana Max: und zee next[info]herr_major on January 11th, 2009 07:33 am (UTC)
Oh, oh, fraulein. You vound me, truly, zough I am impressed I have such effect on your persona.
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Integra Hellsing: orly?[info]integra on January 11th, 2009 07:37 am (UTC)
Ugh. Rest assured that I could smoke the whole of Cuba and you'd still grate on my nerves.

Who let you out of your cage, anyway?

And I thought you were going to stop calling me that.
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Major Montana Max: playing cards[info]herr_major on January 11th, 2009 07:40 am (UTC)
I changed my mind after I saw the disgraceful state you've allowed yourself to enter! From the stand-point of a lowly bystander, it almost appears as if you were in love with your own butler. Zis can hardly do.

I didn't take him away for you to turn around and make him yours again, you know.
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Integra Hellsing: What (Close)[info]integra on January 11th, 2009 07:45 am (UTC)

Besides, he was always mine, you incorrigible little troll. I don't need to use brainwashing to get him to do anything, unlike some people.
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Major Montana Max: millennium[info]herr_major on January 11th, 2009 07:48 am (UTC)
[Audible tisk-tisk-ing from the Major here.]

Now, now, let's not get hasty, ja? I don't recall any brainwashing necessary when we offered him a chance at Alucard, hm? He jumped on zee offer faster than a vampire on a sacrificial virgin!
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Integra Hellsing: Really now.[info]integra on January 11th, 2009 07:53 am (UTC)
And that proves exactly what? I wasn't even around back then and Alucard was just as incorrigible as you are. I'd of probably beaten him senseless too.
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Alucard: Pardon.[info]alucard on January 11th, 2009 07:54 am (UTC)
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Integra Hellsing: Morning[info]integra on January 11th, 2009 07:55 am (UTC)
Quiet, you.
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Major Montana Max[info]herr_major on January 11th, 2009 07:59 am (UTC)
How kind of you to join us, Alucard.

And see? Now she makes justifications for his actions. 'She doth protest too loudly,' nein?
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Alucard: Getting dressed[info]alucard on January 11th, 2009 09:13 am (UTC)
She does a lot of things too loudly, or so the neighbors say. I like her volume just fine.

But seriously, the butler? I know you're kind of...socially inept, but you'd have to be completely retarded to actually believe that one. What they've got is one thing, but what we have is quite another. I thought for sure that you'd be observant enough to see that without me needing to spell it out for you.

Besides, he's obviously gay. I know that from experience.
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Integra Hellsing: Um. Not so much.[info]integra on January 11th, 2009 09:15 am (UTC)
Do you have to bring that up again? I do well to forget that.

I love Walter immeasurably more than I could ever explain, but that doesn't mean that I want to get in his pants. Honestly. What kind of depraved moron would jump to such a conclusion?
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Major Montana Max: und zee next[info]herr_major on January 13th, 2009 05:46 am (UTC)
Alucard, Alucard. Zere is no need for all of zis. Come now. Zee private life of und fraulein ist her business, ja?

Though, I have to admit, hearing it from your lips is rather... interesting to say the least, hm? Hah! Haha...

Ah, alas... I vasn't aware zat my own butler preferred to bat for zee other team! Somehow, I'm disappointed! But, zis doest explain zee... chemistry I sensed between him and zee Captain...

My, I'm losing track of my point. Vat were we discussing?
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Alucard: Twisted love[info]alucard on January 13th, 2009 07:18 am (UTC)
Interesting? Are you kidding? I'll tell anybody that asks that that woman belongs to me. Hell, I'll even tell the people that don't ask! I'm not ashamed!

You're lucky I only told you with words this time. The last guy that questioned my woman's loyalty wound up in a coma!
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Integra Hellsing: No.[info]integra on January 13th, 2009 07:20 am (UTC)
Yeah, because you tripped and fell into him, causing him to take a spill down the stairs.
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Alucard: Pardon.[info]alucard on January 13th, 2009 07:21 am (UTC)
Why you gotta bust balls?
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Integra Hellsing: Naughty[info]integra on January 13th, 2009 07:58 am (UTC)
You weren't complaining about that last night, were you?
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Alucard: Uh.[info]alucard on January 13th, 2009 07:59 am (UTC)
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Integra Hellsing: OVA Unamused[info]integra on January 13th, 2009 07:22 am (UTC)
There are not enough words in either the English or German language to properly describe my hatred for you.
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Major Montana Max: pillsbury major[info]herr_major on January 13th, 2009 07:08 pm (UTC)
Aha! Certainly zis is a discussion not meant for mein ears, ja? Please, please. [waves hands placatingly.] Let's not get into zoze waters.

I can't help but zink zat zis is all very... amusing, fraulein. I had no idea a voman of your calibur vas indulging herself so freely vith her own pet dog!

Hm, I vill have to ask und Doktor if zis ist considered bestiality! Ahahaha!
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Herr Doktor: Nervous[info]herr_doktor on January 13th, 2009 09:45 pm (UTC)
[He frantically flips through about three books, making a noise of surprise as one of them slips in the confusion and jumps to try to catch it, dropping the other two in the process. He looks among them for a moment with a pained shock before sighing dejectedly and picking them up again, mumbling something under his breath about 'damned catboys' in German.]

Let's see heeeere....Aha! Bestiality! [Reads diligently] Ahh, nein, nein. Unfortunately zis does not qualify. Unless he ist actually und dog..? Sadly ze vast majority lacks understanding of such matters. Alzough I do believe it could still be considered necrophilia!
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Major Montana Max: playing cards[info]herr_major on January 14th, 2009 02:51 am (UTC)
Necrophilia! [snorts] Ja, I suppose zis vould qualify. [shakes head, tisking again.]

Vell zhen. I hope ve didn't... interrupt anyzing, Dok, ja?
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Yumiko Takagi: blushing[info]yumiko on January 11th, 2009 09:44 am (UTC)
m-miss integra ?

is - is something the matter ?

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Integra Hellsing: Alucard and I - excuse us?[info]integra on January 11th, 2009 10:01 am (UTC)
In a word: Yes.
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Yumiko Takagi: iscariot[info]yumiko on January 11th, 2009 10:04 am (UTC)

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Integra Hellsing: Seras and I - um...?[info]integra on January 11th, 2009 10:17 am (UTC)
My thoughts exactly.
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Integra Hellsing: OVA smoke[info]integra on January 13th, 2009 09:43 pm (UTC)
First of all, you started him on all of this by suggesting that I'm sleeping with a man that may as well be my father! Secondly, it was none of your concern in the first place and lastly...where is our 'Elite Disposal Unit'...?
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