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What Is Your Battle Cry?
Zang! Who is that, stalking across the fields! It is Anya, hands clutching a burning branch! And with a vengeful bellow, her voice cometh:
"In the name of Thor the Mighty, I come like a storm and lay waste like a hurricane!"
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Who is that, running over the freeway! It is Cian, hands clutching a sharpened screwdriver! And with a mighty cry, his voice cometh:
"I'm going to punch you so hard, your momma won't recognize you!"
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Striding on the terrain, carrying a sharpened screwdriver, cometh Luke! And he gives a mighty scream:
"For the love of beatings, I bring darkness and mayhem like a mad dog who can only get madder!"
Hark! Who is that, skulking across the tarmac! It is Rick, hands clutching a sharpened screwdriver! And with a booming roar, his voice cometh:
"I'm going to brutalize you with such disregard for common sense, you will polymorph into Godzilla!!!"
Skulking amidst the freeway, clutching a reflective halberd, cometh Victor! And he gives a spectacular bellow:
"I'm going to punch you beyond the end of time, and grin like a fucking maniac!!"
Prowling out of the candy store, attacking with two hardened pitas, cometh Riley! And he gives a vengeful scream:
"Blood and souls for my dark lord! I pillage like a four-year-old on a sugar rampage!!!"
Lo! Who is that, striding over the fields! It is Roger, hands clutching an oversized scalpel! And with a vengeful howl, his voice cometh:
"I'm going to bruise you to the moon and back, and hit you with a steamroller!!!"
Skulking along the fields, swinging a studded crowbar, cometh Petra! And she gives a bloodthirsty bellow:
"For the love of beatings, I pillage until everything has croaked!"
Who is that, skulking amidst the hotel lobby! It is Ken, hands clutching a studded crowbar! And with a spectacular cry, his voice cometh:
"I'm seriously going to reduce you to ash, and sell you as spice!"
Yea, verily: Who is that, stalking along the terrain! It is Mason, hands clutching a sharpened screwdriver! He roars apocalyptically:
"I'm going to forcibly reverse your gender!!"
Lo! Who is that, rampaging out of the tarmac! It is Zachary, hands clutching a burning branch! He screams vengefully:
"I'm going to flog you so forcibly, the Earth will spin twice as fast!!"
Running over the hotel lobby, swinging an oversized scalpel, cometh Torn Ear! And he gives a gutteral bellow:
"I'm going to smack you so utterly, your reincarnation will be a scientific anomaly!!"
Striding over the freeway, swinging a burning branch, cometh Phil! And he gives a mighty bellow:
"I'm going to transmogrify everything you hold dear!!"
Lo! Who is that, sprinting across the freeway! It is Kevin, hands clutching buzzsaw hand extensions! He grunts gutterally:
"I'm going to cram objects into you from every conceivable angle!!!"
Who is that, running across the hotel lobby! It is Jack, hands clutching a reflective halberd! He howls vengefully:
"I'm going to beat the flaming shit out of you!!"
Rampaging on the wasteland, swinging a bladed baseball bat, cometh Angelo! And he gives a booming bellow:
"I'm going to flog you like it's my job!"
Skulking over the fields, wielding a bladed baseball bat, cometh Chris! And she gives a bloodthirsty scream:
"Ares, God of War, be praised! I tear into the enemy like a mad dog who can only get madder!!"
Stalking through the terrain, swinging a mighty sword, cometh Vincent! And he gives a mighty scream:
"Brace yourself, oh human speck of dust! I pillage with God on my side!!"
Lo! Who is that, stalking through the desert! It is Alex, hands clutching a thorned whip! And with a gutteral scream, his voice cometh:
"For the love of beatings, I pillage faster than the super-flu!!!"
Hark! Who is that, sprinting across the freeway! It is Varon, hands clutching a piece of chainlink fence! And with a gutteral bellow, his voice cometh:
"I'm seriously going to fuck you beyond your expiration date, and plunge you into financial ruin!!!"
Stalking through the wasteland, carrying two hardened pitas, cometh Lisa! And she gives a spectacular bellow:
"I'm going to flog you into the danger zone!!!"
Rampaging on the steppes, brandishing a thorned whip, cometh Tina! And she gives a booming bellow:
"I'm going to bludgeon you so hard, you will see ultraviolet!!"
Lo! Who is that, sprinting on the mini-mall parking lot! It is Swashbuckler, hands clutching a studded crowbar! And with a bloodthirsty scream, his voice cometh:
"I'm going to beat you until you turn inside-out, and grin like a fucking maniac!"
Hark! Who is that, rampaging out of the tundra! It is Rocket Red Panda, hands clutching a vorpal blade! He grunts gutterally:
"Brace yourself, oh human speck of dust! I shall discombobulate the entire world!!!"
Running through the terrain, wielding a sharpened screwdriver, cometh Hot Rod! And she gives a gutteral scream:
"Ares, God of War, be praised! I destroy all in my path until Satan himself emerges from the pit to thank me!!!"
Sprinting over the plains, swinging a meaty axe, cometh Hourgirl! And she gives a cruel roar:
"I'm going to bruise you with such reckless abandon, it will be a new form of crime!!"
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