Petra Gardner (gal_gardner) wrote in the_bullpen,
@ 2010-08-04 18:40:00

Bad Pick-Up Lines
Drag out your bad pick-up lines folks! Ones you've used, ones used on you, ones you've overheard, whatever. Bonus points for mentioning if it worked.

(Post a new comment)

	gal_gardner 2010-08-04 08:46 pm UTC (link)
	My worst: If you struggle it will only make it harder. Worked. Worst I've overheard: "Baby, let's play house. You can be the screen door and I'll slam you all night long." Didn't work. (Reply to this)

	quitethecharmer 2010-08-04 08:47 pm UTC (link)
	I've rebuked an idiot or two who tried to impress a lady with persistent mentioning of the 'gun show'. (Reply to this)

	awesome_andrea 2010-08-04 10:58 pm UTC (link)
	Howard Wolowitz once wished to know if I wished to "upload" his "software." Needless to say, I declined. And questioned his use of "soft" as a description. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	quadrimanial 2010-08-05 06:01 am UTC (link)
	The next girl is going to get a mention of 'firmware', but best not to think of it. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	awesome_andrea 2010-08-05 04:04 pm UTC (link)
	shudder That poor girl. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	son_of_hercules 2010-08-04 11:20 pm UTC (link)
	If I said you possessed a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? --Needless to say, it always achieves success. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	sandcastlegod 2010-08-05 06:02 am UTC (link)
	I've got a feeling the reason for the success isn't that it's a universally reliable line, Argo. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	son_of_hercules 2010-08-05 04:01 pm UTC (link)
	Oh? Well, I suppose I have had great success with other lines as well... Hmm. Come to think of it, success is almost always achieved. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	ms_miracle 2010-08-04 11:21 pm UTC (link)
	Want to see if your Boom Tube fits in my Mother Box? Works rather well, it does. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	the_hyper_teen 2010-08-04 11:41 pm UTC (link)
	The finer points of your metaphor elude me, miss, but I believe you are making reference to your... ah... stuff? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	ms_miracle 2010-08-04 11:46 pm UTC (link)
	You got it! You win a prize! (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	the_hyper_teen 2010-08-05 12:52 am UTC (link)
	OUTSTANDING! What has been secured due to the workings of my hyper-mind? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	ms_miracle 2010-08-05 01:02 am UTC (link)
	Well... whisper-whisper-whisper (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	the_hyper_teen 2010-08-05 01:03 am UTC (link)
	... OH. The... sticky stuff. is maybe blushing just a tiny miniscule bit (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	ms_miracle 2010-08-05 01:25 am UTC (link)
	Yes. The sticky stuff. It's fun. You need to try it, m'man. It is where it's at. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	handofnabu 2010-08-04 11:27 pm UTC (link)
	"Excuse me would you like to checkout a librarian?" It worked once. Ah bibliophiles. Got to love them. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	im_a_librarian 2010-08-04 11:29 pm UTC (link)
	When I was a librarian, I had guys ask if they could check me out. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	handofnabu 2010-08-04 11:35 pm UTC (link)
	Really? It's a good line, given the job. But there aren't any other good pick-up lines. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	im_a_librarian 2010-08-04 11:43 pm UTC (link)
	Really. It was cute the first couple of times. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	handofnabu 2010-08-04 11:48 pm UTC (link)
	Ah. I honestly don't mind patrons flirting with me. It's when they're old enough to be my grandmother that I get the urge to hide in the periodicals. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	im_a_librarian 2010-08-04 11:48 pm UTC (link)
	snicker Yeah, had a few grandpa types I wanted to hide from myself. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	gal_gardner 2010-08-04 11:56 pm UTC (link)
	"Oh honey I bet you and I could go through a whole tube of Ben-Gay..." (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	im_a_librarian 2010-08-05 12:18 am UTC (link)
	Eeew! Eeewww! Ew! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	handofnabu 2010-08-04 11:58 pm UTC (link)
	Seriously. What is it with old people? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	im_a_librarian 2010-08-05 12:18 am UTC (link)
	They're just lonely, I guess. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	handofnabu 2010-08-05 12:23 am UTC (link)
	Then why don't they try community centers? Or bars? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	im_a_librarian 2010-08-05 12:28 am UTC (link)
	Beats me. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	gammagodling 2010-08-05 01:39 am UTC (link)
	"Do you like cheesecake?" It worked. Oh, how it worked. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	tabula_rasa 2010-08-05 07:16 am UTC (link)
	Get a lot of action with that one, do you? amused (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	gammagodling 2010-08-07 01:28 am UTC (link)
	Funny, I've only used it once, but I met this girl who said she could be bad for a good cheesecake. I may have taken advantage of this fact that evening. Lady Cheesecake certainly enjoyed herself, from what I gather. -grins- (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	tabula_rasa 2010-08-07 01:59 am UTC (link)
	An experience I'll never forget. smile (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	gammagodling 2010-08-07 02:43 am UTC (link)
	Believe me, if you do, I will remind you. -grins- (Reply to this)(Parent)

	highballjordan 2010-08-05 01:41 am UTC (link)
	There's no such thing as a bad pick-up line, just a bad delivery. Good delivery makes even the worst pick-up line seem better. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	stark_resilient 2010-08-05 01:42 am UTC (link)
	I have to agree with this man. He's got a point. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	ferris_ceo 2010-08-05 07:13 am UTC (link)
	It might make them seem better, not that they'll work any better. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	highballjordan 2010-08-07 01:29 am UTC (link)
	I don't know, Boss Lady. If you're free sometime, I'll test out a line of mine and see if it works. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	ferris_ceo 2010-08-07 01:52 am UTC (link)
	Can't wait to hear this one. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	stark_resilient 2010-08-05 01:43 am UTC (link)
	My favorite has always been... "My jet is waiting. Do you like Malibu?" A close second is "I'll spring for dinner if you'll make breakfast." (Reply to this)

	thisismyweapon 2010-08-07 01:31 am UTC (link)
	"I made some upgrades to your gun, and I have new ammo for you." While not an invite to encounters of romantic nature, it certainly does get grumpy female SHIELD agents to smile and look at one twice. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	sammyfury 2010-08-07 01:46 am UTC (link)
	I'm not grumpy. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	thisismyweapon 2010-08-07 01:58 am UTC (link)
	Not after your sixth cup of coffee, you're not. Then you're just surly. -snickers- (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	sammyfury 2010-08-07 04:04 am UTC (link)
	I will accept surly, but only before noon. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	thisismyweapon 2010-08-07 04:31 am UTC (link)
	What are you after noon and during the night, then? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	sammyfury 2010-08-07 04:42 am UTC (link)
	After noon i'm just cranky, and no comment. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	thisismyweapon 2010-08-07 05:24 am UTC (link)
	And during the evening, you're like everyone else. Asleep. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	sammyfury 2010-08-07 05:48 am UTC (link)
	That's it. I'm asleep. We'll go with that answer. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	thisismyweapon 2010-08-07 05:51 am UTC (link)
	-smirk- Very well, Fury. We'll go with that answer. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	goesbothways 2010-08-25 02:02 pm UTC (link)
	Oooohhhh, you're quite the charmer. If I weren't solidly taken now... (Reply to this)(Parent)

	goesbothways 2010-08-25 02:03 pm UTC (link)
	I've got a python in my pants. And yes, it worked fantastically. (Reply to this)

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